How to Build Resilience and Bounce Back Stronger
As you know, life isn’t always smooth sailing. We’ve all been through moments, maybe even whole seasons, where it felt like everything was falling apart. And yet, here you are, still standing, still breathing. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. That’s resilience. But is resilience something you’re born with, or can you build it over time? And more importantly, how does it play a role in your mental, emotional, and physical health? Let’s dive into what makes resilience one of the most powerful tools in your wellness toolbox—and how you can cultivate it in everyday life.
What is Resilience, Anyway?
Resilience is your ability to adapt, recover, and grow through adversity. It doesn’t mean you never struggle or that you push through pain without feeling it. In fact, resilient people experience all the same emotions—grief, anger, fear, sadness—but they don’t get permanently stuck there.
As Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., explains in Secrets of Resilience, resilience is less about “toughing it out” and more about how you interpret challenges. It’s about meaning-making, mindset, and the belief that even in difficulty, something valuable can emerge.
What Does Resilience Look Like in Real Life?
It’s not always grand or dramatic. Here are some everyday examples:
A working parent who juggles school closures and job stress but still finds joy in bedtime stories.
A cancer survivor who turns their journey into a source of advocacy and connection.
A business owner who learns from a failed launch instead of giving up completely.
A teen who, despite social anxiety, keeps showing up to school and asking for help.
What do they all have in common? They weather the storm but stay rooted.
The Science Behind Resilience
Research shows that resilience is not a fixed trait. It’s a set of skills and attitudes we can strengthen over time.
The American Psychological Association defines resilience as the process of “adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress.”
Studies have linked high resilience with lower levels of depression and anxiety, better immune function, and even faster recovery from illness.
Joan Borysenko’s work highlights that resilient individuals often share specific traits: self-awareness, optimism, emotional regulation and maturity, spiritual grounding, and strong social connections.
In other words, resilience isn’t just about surviving through the storm—it’s about how well you live through it and how you choose to channel your suffering.
4 Factors to Help You Be More Resilient
1. Meaning Matters
People who can find meaning in their suffering tend to recover more quickly. Whether it’s a change in perspective, a shift in priorities, or a deeper sense of empathy, what you tell yourself about what you’re going through matters.
2. A Growth Mindset Changes Everything
Instead of asking “Why me?”, resilient people ask, “What can I learn about myself right now?” or “How can I use this experience to help someone else?” This shift in perspective opens the door to growth and evolution, rather than stagnation, or worse yet, regression.
3. Spiritual Anchoring
You don’t have to be religious to benefit from a spiritual practice. Whether it’s prayer, mindfulness, nature, or a sense of purpose, spirituality provides a bigger-picture view that can help make pain feel less isolating.
4. Social Support Is Non-Negotiable
Strong, supportive relationships buffer stress. Even a single person who believes in you, shows kindness and empathy, or can show up and just sit with you in a time of need, can make the difference between giving up and pushing through.
How Resilience Affects Mental and Physical Health
Resilience isn't just a mindset—it’s deeply tied to your biology.
Mentally, resilience helps reduce rumination and overthinking, which are often linked to anxiety and depression.
Physically, stress that goes unchecked can lead to inflammation, high blood pressure, and weakened immunity. But resilient people tend to return to baseline more quickly, protecting their health in the long run.
Emotionally, resilience builds confidence. You develop trust in your ability to handle whatever life throws your way.
Think of it like this: resilience is the bridge between hardship and healing.
How to Become More Resilient
Resilience isn’t about being immune to pain or anger or sadness. It’s about being adaptable. And it’s something you can build and strengthen—just like a muscle. Here’s how to start:
Shift Your Self-Talk
Pay attention to how you speak to yourself in tough moments. Replace “I can’t handle this” with “This is hard, but I can get through it.” That one sentence can rewire your whole stress response.
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness helps you stay grounded in the present moment. Even 5 minutes a day can build your capacity to choose how you respond to stress.
Connect with People Who Uplift You
You don’t need a huge circle—just a few real, supportive relationships. Share what you’re going through. Let people show up for you.
Keep a Journal
Take time to reflect: What did I learn from this? How did I grow? What strength did I discover? Over time, you’ll see patterns that reinforce your inner strength and confidence.
Take Care of Your Body
Movement, rest, and good nutrition aren’t just about physical health—they’re resilience practices. A well-nourished and healthy body can better cope with stress.
The Last Bite
Here’s the thing: you don’t become resilient after the storm. You build it as you're navigating through the storm, moment by moment.
You don’t have to be perfect.
You don’t have to know what to do next.
What allows this to unfold is an honest acceptance of reality, a strong belief in yourself, the willingness to adapt, and as you’re ready, the resolve to move forward. And in that process, you grow stronger than you ever were before.
What challenges have shaped your resilience? What practices help you stay grounded when life gets hard?
Before we part, I want to further touch on the importance of having a support system. Whether you’re working to strengthen your resilience or addressing your physical or emotional needs, support is key. If you’re looking for that missing piece of support with your goals, I invite you to reach out so we can talk. To book your complimentary discovery call, click the button below and fill out the form. I’ll be in touch!